I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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