somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
