The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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