Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Randomize
