Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
