I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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