I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
im six kinds of drunk right now
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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