you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
