I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
