Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
