Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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