For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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