When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
