At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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