you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I need to stop coming to work sober
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
