I want you more than these girls want KFC
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
