i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
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