I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You are a genius and a whore.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
