for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
