If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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