Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
