i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just cropdusted the office
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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