once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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