Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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