Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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