I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize