i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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