Your tits are I can't wait for
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
