i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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