Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
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