Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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