She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
