you win again, gameday.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
