I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
