so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
