Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
