He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
