This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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