ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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