I want to stick my p in your. b.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
