I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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