you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
How many fucks given?
0.12846
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
