So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
