508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
