No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
