so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
