Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
