its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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