Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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