but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
