Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
