Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
