she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
