Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
