Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
