You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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