This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
