i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
