the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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