yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
