There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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