No awkward lesbian experiences without me
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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