Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
