Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Duck Duck Cougar?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
