My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
