If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
