I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
