You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
