You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
