dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i was born a porn star she said
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
