I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It was a blind-side dick pic.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
