YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
