all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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